Christmas musings

" A child has been born to us; God has given a son to us. He will be responsible for leading his people. His name will be Wonderful Counselor, Powerful God, Father who Lives Forever, Prince of Peace." Isaiah 9:6

Every Christmas, I try to take the time to be still and realize the enormity of the gift given to the world that first Christmas night. As I thought about Christmas and its aftershocks, aftershocks that are still reverberating in the year 2010, this verse came to mind. I know that Christmas is sooo much more than what it means to me in my limited time in space and my limited experience. But, in my limited experience, Christmas has rocked the world I live in. When I think of the words, "has been born to us" and "God has given" I can't dismiss the feeling of gratitude and incredulity. I always find a gift to be meaningful, but a gift of this magnitude, it is beyond me.

As I look through the ways that I have been divinely startled this year, I see a Wonderful Counsellor, a Powerful God, a Father Who Lives Forever, and mostly a Prince of Peace.
In fact, I do not know how I would have been able to make this journey without these attributes. There have been times, many times, when I have been up against a wall. It seems that a certain treatment has plateaued, or I don't know what to do with a certain behavior. I can tell you of several times that my heart has needed a counselor and how it has found Him. Thinking of just this year; I needed a new IBI provider. I asked my Counselor to guide me and three different people gave me the name of S.T.E.P.S. who couldn't have been a better fit for Scarlet. When looking for the next way to go in the diet area, God led me to the Specific carbohydrate diet through a friend and through the DAN doctor. This diet has led to several positive changes. When wondering if God has forsaken me, he reminds me that he will never leave me and nothing can separate me from his love. When wondering what next step to take with treatment, I was told by a fellow parent of a product called PCArx (A Chlatharation agent or chelating agent) When I began Scarlet on this product my DAN doctor did not know what to do with the detoxing showing up in her bloodstream. We have seen many positive changes with this product, even my DAN doctor is excited about it.

When I think about the Powerful God, I see his fingerprints everywhere. To see him bring beauty from the ashes of this disease speaks to the miraculous power he has to transform death to life. Paul and I wanted to get Scarlet a birthday present that would fit a $200 budget. Everyone had pooled their money, because Scarlet has not taken to lots of small gifts in the past..she finds it stressful. We wanted to get her a swing set, because we knew she would enjoy it. Long story short, God provided a brand new, from Rona, regularly $900, for $180 before taxes!!! I ask God every night to give Scarlet her words and to take this disease away from her. I know that he is the Powerful God, I have experienced it. It is perhaps the biggest tension of faith in this situation. I know that he can, I don't know if he will. No matter what, I have seen that his ways are right and good and beautiful.

The Father Who Lives Forever, is so significant to me, because my own daddy passed away almost ten years ago. There is nothing like running to your daddy and just letting him be strong for you, just getting lost in those big daddy arms and knowing that he is the strongest dad around and he is not going to let anything get to you. There have been some nights when I have just wanted my daddy! No one understood me like he did. On those nights, I hear another voice speaking to me. He reminds me that he loves me, created me, longs to hold me, sings songs over me. It is in the most discouraging, heart heavy days that I can still find big daddy arms that hold me. Arms that glisten with my tears and hold me tighter until my sobs have subsided. Then he takes me and looks me full in the face and tells me how much he loves me. My Father Who Lives Forever, never goes away and he watches out for me. I am his child. It is so profound, God sent his son to us to show us that he is our Father, because he knew that this would be a very important message to us... to me, 2010 years later in some obscure northern town.

Lastly, but certainly not finally as there are so many other names for God that have also been significant on this journey (Saviour, Lord, My Provider, The God who Sees, The All-sufficient One...) Lastly, the Prince of Peace has kept me wrapped up tightly in his safe house. I remember this most significantly right before Scarlet started school. I was beside myself with worry. Who was she going to get as an EA? Was she going to be able to function in the classroom? How much red tape was I going to have to wade through in order to get her the help that she needs? I was in such turmoil that I couldn't sleep. I couldn't let my baby be thrown to the wolves. Who knew what she would hear about her disabilities, who would tease her, who would underestimate her, who would tend to her safety. It was in these worries that the Prince of Peace raised his hand over my storm and said "peace, be still" He reminded me that I should "Cast all my cares on him because he cares for me" He reminded me to be "anxious in nothing, but by prayer and petition make my requests known to him". He reminded me that he has always taken care of me and Scarlet. I can not describe to you the peace that settled over my heart... it was supernatural and it hasn't left. Every time, I hear those nagging voices, I hear his voice saying "peace" and all is still again. And as if to confirm to me that all would be OK, he sent a lady from our church who knew about Scarlet to be her first EA.

"Then a very large group of angels from heaven joined the first angel, praising God and saying; 'Give glory to God in heaven and on earth let there be peace among the people who please God.'" Luke 2:13-14

I echo those words and say Thank you God for such a gift! Wonder Counsellor, Powerful God, The Father who Lives Forever, Prince of Peace.