I have, of late, had a love hate relationship with the Disney princesses. What! the Disney princesses???? How can anyone hate them? I was eagerly awaiting the day I could dress up a co-operative child, after having a boy first... He was not into the girly things at all...its a good thing. When I had Scarlet, I went looking for all kinds of princess/fairy dress up gear. I couldn't wait for girl dress-up. Spider man and Batman were admittedly fun, but now, Now I was going to have a Cinderella around. Scarlet loves the princesses, Ariel being her decided favorite, but its just that as I am getting to know the princesses better, I am not so sure that I like them.
It could be that Snow White rather joyously proclaimed "Dreams can come true!" right as I was searching Scarlet's room for any more visible signs of feces....it was one of those, found Scarlet with number two all over her hands and face and room kind of moments....I can't say I appreciated Snow White's enthusiasm or conviction.
At other times, I have snuggled in with Scarlet to read her a princess book and thought, as I read "The End", that it would be hard for any normal girl to live up to those expectations, let alone a girl with autism. My little princess doesn't have any kind words, she can't clean up any one's messes, her dancing skills are not impressive, she doesn't know how to cook, and she will probably never have a handsome prince to sweep her off her feet and marry her. She does like to dress up though .... one for ten.
The princess sing-a-long songs are Scarlet's favorite thing to watch. I find myself humming Colors of the Wind and Kiss the Girl more frequently than is proper for a grown woman. It is guaranteed that at our house there will be 30 minutes a day devoted to those glowing, singing princesses. Scarlet squeals with delight when they sing to her...I think they are her friends. I don't want to take them away from her, but sometimes I wonder how "All your dreams will come true" and just wait for the handsome prince, he'll make it better is helping the situation at hand.
I have been thinking allot about living in a place that is unfulfillment. What I mean is living in a place that is undesirable. A place that there seems no way out of. A place that will likely not improve. A place like autism. There are princesses in this place, but they dress in only comfortable clothing and those dreadful, comfortable, but downright ugly shoes. Their beauty is unconventional, but it shines from their eyes if you know how to look.
It is a paradigm that most people in the West are not forced into. Here in the west it is quite possible for people to find a way out of grinding poverty, improve their circumstances, find cures for what ails them. It is likely that if you are having a low point in your life, that things will eventualy improve... but what if they can't improve? What if they never do? I could be wrong, but I think the Disney princesses wouldn't be able to handle this reality.
Before you think me a spoil sport, pragmatic and austere, you should know that I would rather be caught in a Science fiction novel, be swept away by Shakespeare, watch ballet, and watch a good romantic comedy than most anything. Perhaps my overactive imagination needed something more firm to contemplate. At any rate, I see no desireable way to live in a place called autism without Jesus. It is too grinding to wake up to its reality without knowing that someday, it will not exist. Because Jesus was born with humanity wrapped around him, because he lived sinlessly, because he took my punishment so that I could enter his heaven someday, because not even death could hold him, I know that in The End of my book, there will be a smile on my face.
So, I will pray that Scarlet knows her heart should be the most beautiful thing about her. I will try to teach her that contentment in the middle of something unchangeable is more valuable than a diamond tiara. I will push her to keep trying to reach new goals because giving up is worse than an evil stepmother. I will teach her to dream about a place where no sickness or tears exist. And I will alway leave room for a miracle ...because our God specializes in them.
Thus ends my diatribe on the princesses! Maybe tomorrow, I will like them a little more.
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